Apple recently released an update to it’s iPhone operating system (IOS 12). Included in this release is what Apple dubs “Screen Time.” Apple describes this tool as something to help “give you a better understanding of the time you and your kids spend using apps, visiting websites, and on your device overall. So you can make the most of how you choose to spend time on your iPhone or iPad” (

For those who are familiar with the research and writings of MIT’s Sherry Turkle, you will not be surprised by this new feature. Turkle’s 2011 work “Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from ourselves” highlights the challenge we have as we try to find the balance between our interactions with others and our interactions with technology (

Tools like those from Apple and others may help bring awareness to what we are doing, but they may come short in helping us change our behaviors, much less improve our interactions with others in general and more specifically improve our interactions with those with whom we may disagree and find ourselves in conflict.

I have been fortunate to be part of a small group who have developed a model and tool to help those interested in becoming intentional and deliberate in how they connect with others. HumanFluency™ is a model (see illustration below) that describes the interactional behaviors: (1) depth, (2) discernment, and (3) discipline.

Conversations are often underestimated yet critical to personal effectiveness and organizational success. Human interactions lie at the heart of better understanding, robust decision making, effective collaboration, coordinated action and personal development. It is the bedrock of organizational health and employee experience, which in turn translate into sustainable results.

Having the ability to have the right conversations and doing them well can be challenging in itself. Using and developing this ability is now even more difficult in organizations where the pressure is mounting as a result of ever increasing expectations, higher workload and an environment of constant change.

Time and undivided attention therefore becomes more scarce, and so does people’s opportunity to truly connect with each other beyond the transactional necessities. In addition, the rise of social media, online collaboration tools and email give us new unprecedented ways to interact, often times only superficially; yet they also present us with new challenges to build relationships and have meaningful conversations.

If you are interested in understanding your HumanFluency™ and want to contribute to the body of knowledge around this emerging concept, please complete the short survey by clicking HERE.

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#HumanFluency #leadership #interaction #effectiveness